Birth Story: My Unexpected Childbirth Experience

We’ve all seen movies and shows depicting what it’s like to go into labor. I’ve even taken several parenting courses in high school and college but none quite detail the experience a woman truly goes through. There’s also a strong possibility that I am the only one with a story like mine. However, my experience was partially confirmed by another new mom with a similar birth story. So I’ll tell you mine just to prepare you for the worst!

Humble Beginnings

So it all started the night before when I was watching the 2017 Cotton Bowl. My son’s father had just made an interception at the very end of the game. Now that it was finally over, I thought I could get some rest. But first, I really had to poop (TMI). I went to the bathroom to poop and to my surprise there’s this ball. It wasn’t a large ball, but a ball nonetheless of who knows what. I had just been reading other blog articles of things they don’t tell you. Then thought to myself “could this be the mucus plug”. After looking up several gross images, I confirmed that this was potentially a smaller version. But I knew my doctor’s office would tell me I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I was overreacting so off to bed I went.

A few hours later [SpongeBob narrator voice], I was awaken around 2 or 3:00 am by a POP and a gush! At that point, I’m freaking out because I’m prepared but I’m not PREPARED. So soiled, I made my way to the bathroom and it just stopped. There was no more fluid, I didn’t have to pee, nothing. In a panic, I called my parents who were 2 hours away and let them know that this had to be it for real. I told them they should maybe make their way to town. Immediately following this call, I called and texted his father. He was still in Texas (not at all Ohio) but I let him know THIS IS HAPPENING. I was about to give birth!

The last call I made was to my best friend, who was my ride to the hospital. She reluctantly and sleepily said she was on her way. The last LAST call I made was to the midwives. They thought that it probably wasn’t my water breaking. But told me if the contractions got closer, I should come in. She also said wait as long as possible in the comfort of my home, otherwise I’d be laboring in the hospital for hours. This person also said it was okay to eat and that was a big no-no.

Side note: Why is it normalized for hospitals to minimize the experience of first time moms?? They told me several times, even during impromptu visits, that I was overreacting and basically didn’t know what I was talking about. As a black woman, they disregard our pain threshold.

Going to the Hospital

Once I got off the phone I began gathering my bags. The contractions were close but not that close. In reality, I didn’t know how to time contractions. Yes, there was some kind of discomfort, but how the heck was I supposed to know what it felt like. It also wasn’t a ridiculous amount of pain followed by a period of normality, which is how it is described. It was a consistent dull, achy pain, followed by a worsening pain that then returned to dull and achy. I was taking my time and then out of nowhere it got SO MUCH WORSE!

I told my friend it was time to go NOW. I gave birth at the end of December, mind you we live in Ohio. No snow was on the ground the day before and then a slew of snow hit. The salt trucks weren’t out yet, because at this point it’s only 4:00am. And the forecast wasn’t for snow that bad. That said, we had to do 20mph on the highway. I’m yelling floor it the whole way and whining how I waited too long to leave.

We made it to the hospital and they used some strip to test if my water had actually broken. They said it had not. How this strip would know when I’ve gone to the bathroom AND cleaned myself up (because, ew!) is beyond me. They told me I was barely 2 centimeters dilated and that I should walk around the hospital to get things going. I was set to have a water birth but they advised me that they would not even start blowing up the pool until I was about 5 centimeters dilated. So I made it to…the lobby where my family found me and my friend sitting down because I could no longer walk. I greeted them and made a mad dash back to my room to sit in the bathroom and that’s where the horror starts!

The Birth Horror Story

Not even a couple minutes in and I am pooping, nay I say shitting (because this was a serious matter), my poor little heart out. When the pooping wasn’t enough, I started throwing up. My poor mom was trying to be supportive but ultimately stood outside the door because it was that disgusting. In that moment, I felt so alone and also so deceived. I wondered if my baby was okay because I had heard that you poop when you push because you can’t feel it but nothing like this. I finally managed to pull myself together enough to go back to the bed. Finally, after 2 hours had gone by of pooping and throwing up since the doctor told me to “take a lap”, she returned. She told me I was 9 centimeters dilated to my surprise!

At that point, F#€K the pool AND natural birth, I yelled for the epidural. So they had me sign some form and we were moving to my real delivery room. Along the way, my body had gone through so much so fast that my heart rate was through the roof and my body was in total distress, while Damon’s was dropping. There were what seemed like 10 doctors and nurses in the room telling me I need to turn over have my butt elevated and my head down which felt next to impossible.

My least favorite doctor kept telling me “it’s for the baby” and I’m thinking to myself no it’s for a Klondike bar, CLEARLY IT’S FOR THE BABY! Then they gave me an oxygen mask which felt like it was taking more air than it was giving but I complied and calmed down and finally they were ready to give me the epidural.

The best part of the epidural was the button they gave me to release more “as necessary” which obviously had its limits but I had fun with that button. Shortly after it was time to push actually harder than I thought. I could make the pushing face but I’m now numb down there so what do you want me to do.

I gave it my best shot and they could see his head but the midwife said she needed to make a small episiotomy. She then proceeded to tell me what they was. SHUT UP LADY. I was like please just do it I can’t feel anything down there and would prefer to look it up later because then I was thinking I could feel it. I pushed a little more and someone mentioned C-section and PLOOP, a handsome little boy was born ☺️. Here are the pictures of the good, bad, and the uglier of my experience:

What’s your birth story and how prepared did you feel going into labor?

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