Furthering Education as a Fearless Full Time Working Single Parent

I felt trapped 5 months into working as a recruiter after being laid off on my maternity leave. I only accepted the position because I was desperate to get back to work once my severance package started to dry up. After 5 months of working a job that I felt was beneath my education level, I decided to go back to school and began reaching out to graduate schools.

I had placed a couple people in positions paying $70+/hour at a top financial firm and I was jealous. These people got their graduate degrees from schools I laughed at, yet here they were making way more than I was. Granted, it was IT professionals, but it opened my eyes to looking at ALL programs.

Whether you’re looking for graduate programs, bachelors, associates, or finishing high school, going back to school can be rough. Adding a small child into the equation makes it even tougher. Damon was 11 months when I enrolled, and I often think it would’ve been easier if he was younger. But I pushed through anyway and I compiled this helpful tip list for moms going back to school with babies and toddlers.

1. Research flexible school programs

A flexible program is the single most important tip to getting enrolled in school again. It’s unrealistic to expect to sit in a classroom all day. Especially if you’re working still. It’s been done, but why make it harder on yourself? I, personally, was in a city on my own (and still am) without his dad or my family. Traveling 2 hours for them to watch him for every class simply wasn’t going to happen.

So, the first thing to check off your back to school list is looking at programs that offer distance learning. Then, look for the top schools for your course of study. Cost is also an important factor, especially in graduate school where grants and scholarships are less abundant. Finally, do some research on the job placement and career management departments. What help do they offer and where are people that have graduated already working?

2. Just start – enroll in school

Word of advice, do not put it off. The longer you wait to enroll, the more time you have to change your mind. It’s also more time going by for you to think, “I could’ve been done by xx date if I had just started xx months ago when I wanted to.” Save yourself the regret and JUST START.

3. Play dates are your friend

If you have a like-minded mom friend that’s going back to school, utilize this. Set up play dates for your kids to get together while you two study. Even if you have mom friends who aren’t in school play dates can be an effective use of time to get shit done. Especially if you have a clingy child, playing with other kids is fun for them and productive for you.

While you’re both getting stuff done, one mom can be designated to keeping an eye on the kids if they’re getting too rowdy. And this will rotate as you rotate locations. I’m fortunate enough that Damon and my friend’s child are only a year apart and we live 10 minutes apart so it just works.

4. Ask for help

Ask for help from your family, from your professors, from your friends. Just ask for help! It is easy to get into I can do everything myself I’m a strong woman mode. But sometimes we need help and that’s okay! ask for it and if one resource can’t help don’t be discouraged from asking another.

This applies to time away from your kid to study. Help with problems that you’re spending a lot of time on. Recommendations for scholarships. Fun stress breaks from school and work that you can both participate in. There are many thing you may need help with and the key is identifying those moments and actually asking.

5. Frequent motivation is truly helpful

Once you enroll, the biggest battle is staying enrolled. There will be classes that test your will. There will also be mommy guilt. I struggle a lot with this because I have mommy guilt for working full time. Then you add on this extra layer of distraction from your child, and I’m ready to throw in the towel.

To combat this, I have to frequently remind myself why I’m doing it and how my decisions affect Damon in the long run. Some people use vision boards, motivational quotes, or simply pep talks. You can even try rewards. For example, you finish a big test or the semester and you carve out time for a fun activity for you and baby. This can be inexpensive fun when you pair apps like Groupon and Rakuten Ebates. Then you’ll earn money to pay for the fun while also saving money on it.

6. Planning is key

It’s soooo easy to get behind on schoolwork, housework, or work work if you go into a semester unprepared. That is not the impression you want to leave on your professor and potential reference. Therefore create a plan early.

As soon as you’re able to access course materials, put all deadlines in your calendar. Then add in when you actually want to have the assignment completed. Account for the possibility of something going wrong, so that you have time to reach out for help as necessary. Here’s a link to the planner I currently use which I HIGHLY recommend for other lefties!

7. Apply for school scholarships

There are many scholarships you can apply for both through your school and from outside sources. Some are even geared towards mommies. I, admittedly, am skeptical of most outside sources so I’ve probably missed out on a ton of money. But that doesn’t mean you have to. With thorough research you can find some awesome resources.

Also, use scholarships as a networking opportunity! If there are scholarship receptions for recipients, go! If you can make it, you’ll get to meet a lot of people that can likely be impactful to your professional career and also personal life if you build a mentor relationship.

8. Incorporate your little one

Damon was going to scholarship receptions and sitting through live online lectures with me. Get some snacks, drinks, and quiet toys and take a trip to the library. Grab a study room so you don’t have to worry about wandering.

Sometimes you’ll want to make it an exclusive mommy’s do not disturb time. But others aren’t as pressing, like discussion boards. Maybe let them touch a few keys or in some way feel helpful. This both eases that mommy guilt I talked about earlier and keeps your toddler occupied and quiet.

****Bonus Tip****

9. Work ahead

This goes hand in hand with planning but isn’t a given to some. If you can get a free weekend, utilize it to work ahead if there are quizzes and/or problems that you can complete all at once, discussions you can post, or readings to complete. Just get ahead so that you don’t have to worry if something comes up that would typically put you behind.

In my current course there was a 1 week gap between semesters that I used to stay a week ahead of assignment due dates. It’s easy to just take a break, but it’s an even better to stress less during the semester because you worked a little on break!

Tried any of these tips? Let me know which you find the most helpful or add some tips that have helped you!